Don't follow me, I know not where I go.the sky I see is not my own and it always is beyond my reach when I see it coming, I run from what I want when I see what I see, it's not what I want... Maybe seeing the future before it happens could help me see the meaning to life, but then again maybe not. Perhaps sightis just a curse, being able to see the destruction as it happens rather than simple hearing the rubble strike the ground when buildings fall.
Only a fool could last his life being one, I am no fool. I see what I see when it is here, and therefore I love it. So long cruel world, it is only a small timeframe between sanity and a lack of. Lo and behold the world consumes me as one of seven billion. When the timeframe comes to a close I will be completely fine, because my soul and my spirit will have seperated, my soul flying to heaven and my spirit falling to hell, as it should.
Spiritless, dead, deceased, empty, just a shell of what I was before and then there is the changing tides. Maybe I will die if they stay the same or maybe I will live. A lack of understading is just what happens when there is no one to listen to it. Random sentences typed fast always bring out the insanity in someone. Even I, someone who many would look at and call "normal", or perhaps more than normal, "boring".
A gamer, someone who spends all of their time playing games to escape the reality of life, I find this suits me well, as the reality of life is only what can be seen. I don't like being helpeless, when the world looks so bleak I wonder just how it stays turning, when there is no one really caring. Surely the world is more important than any one, or a billion people. I'm sure if the government were put with the decision: lose six billion, or lose the planet... They would take the planet, of course apologetically. They would talk up how it was in the best interests of the many that the world were to stay, not that they feared for their own survival. No doubt.
Longing for the time I see that the world has ended, it's just a little crazy to assume I am sane, just as you. Maybe we all are, maybe we can see the future but choose not to? Maybe we can see the past and it scares the hell out of us when we see the present and see how we have gone backwards. I would prefer to live in the stone age, I would prefer to live in the time where survival mattered, where time didn't exist and a day could mean nothing in the time scheme.
See all the people waiting for me at the halls of hell and tell each one individually that they are waiting for the wrong person. To and fro, the winds go, tugging at my clothing as I stand above my abyss and my eventual demise, so long cruel world, see what you have done. I will call you when I reach hell.
Laughter would be a good medicine if I could laugh, but ever since I saw the fate of time pass I can no laugh, cry, wait, stand, or sit, I must hover with a stoic look upon my face because those are the conditions of my existance. So I seek beauty in life, I perhaps should go out with a camera and photograph it to see what is truly there. I am an artist without an ability to do art, perhaps this is my curse.
Writing is a style little apreciated now, it is taken for granted, it is substituted, it is passed aside idly. I write because I can not paint, I write knowing that I would need a thousand words to describe my picture and that not a soul I know would rather read these words. I write knowing that it may never be read, I write knowing my life is of little interest to many, and so I write about the lives of others.
Many times I would spend hours pondering the story of my characters, and sometimes picture them in my world. It uis amazing how different their reactions could be. One character may go insane in this world of lights and steel, where another would embrace it as another conquest. So often it seems the "evil" characters are more translatable to me.
Knowing not why I write as I do, I stop, perhaps for the better? I turn from an artist without an art to a gamer without the money to do so. There are loopholes to everything, including but not limited to gaming. A lawyer might suit my ability because I seek the tiny loopholes in life to exploit, or perhaps I break my own into the existing script.
Life in outer space, this is so possible to me. Life, death, birth anew, more death. We are but an atom in the universe's structure and there are many objects that could dwarf our puny little blue marble and destroy it.
I digress, then again perhaps I never had a point to begin with. I wrote this without knowing where it was going, and writing as fast as I could with any kind of accuracy in my keystrokes until I began seeing whole paragraphs appear. If you've read this far I congratulate you for embracing the simple word and along with that I thank you for the time you have spent embracing mine.
Falling, weightless, from a midnight sky...
Turning, twisting, wishing I could fly...
My life has no truth, and I can't land on a lie...
So I fell through the ground as it passed me by...